The capital L in the title was an attempt to sound like Gronk in Despicable Me. He gets a great idea in a specific moment where he witnesses something that shows him that great idea. It isn't so much a great idea moment for me as it is a realization after two or three experiences that lead me to believe this family is extremely non-confrontational. As I think back, it is more than two or three, it is six or ten. My family is unwilling to confront specific confrontations and I am not sure how to pinpoint what it is. It ranges from Andy to Marne' to our mother Cheryl, although, to her credit she did attempt to confront me head on, even though it didn't end productively, as she was reduced to an emotional appeal, and, at the time, that wasn't necessarily an appeal for me.
I just want to know why I - this - is a growing obstacle for everyone. Why is everyone so...only deal with this as a deflection sort of way? I suppose I am amazed that it is such a concerted effort, unless it was conspired to be that way, then I suppose I am equally amazed that 4 siblings could conspire in such a way.
I have had such paranoid thoughts for some time but have dismissed them under more rational logic where a concerted effort was not prevailing in evidence. Over the years, it has shown to be a puzzle in the making, where all the pieces have molded together to create a coherent picture. This may not all hold true, but to a person living outside of Utah for the last 11 years, it definitely feels true. This is especially logical given the last dozen or so serious conversations I have had with siblings who have shown their hand and deflected, more or less, to a sense of loyalty to faith before family and chosen not to confront the disconnect that exists between family and faith. Oh well. Such is life. You love, you live, you realize your faith and loves don't equate. You weed out those that aren't up to the task and you move on. Such is life, such is love.
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